Sunday, 13 March 2011

Maybe a little too honest...

I read an article recently about how Mums lie to each other. All the time! 

"Yeah I'm totally the same little Buxton is only allowed to watch 30 minutes of T.V.."

When I first read it I though, nah, not me I don't hold back! I tell people about how frequently Ethan wakes in the night, how big Izzy's tantrums are and how many 'accidents' she may or may not have had. (Yeah maybe I keep it a little too real.)

But then as I read I realised I did! So maybe your friend comes over, and you remembered about them coming but hadn't quite noticed it was 10am already and your house is a tip. (Still dishes from last night's dinner and Ethan-now-I'm-10 months-I-can-totally-feed-myself's dinner smeared on his tray, the wall and most of the floor space. PLUS toys, pjs and the odd dirty nappy on the living room floor.) So what do you say when you see their eyes sweeping around the house looking for any clean spot to sit? 

I would like to say I told it how it was and said,

"I spent the from 5.30-7.30am trying to put Izzy back to sleep with a combination of Andy sleeping with her in her bed, then all of us in our bed, and finally when Izzy laid diagonally Andy in Izzy's bed.

Then when I could open my eyes wide enough to attempt going downstairs I spent the next 1-2 hours trying to encourage other breakfast choices than frosties. After distracting Ethan enough with his obsurdly loud singing ball so I could run upstairs before they could notice I was gone to pee and grab the first clothes I saw in their wardrobe. Ran downstairs, changed both children whilst they were running/crawling away.

Waited two minutes after fully dressing Ethan before smelling his bum again to find he had left me his second poo of the day. Spent half an hour then trying to clean a pooey bottom whilst he crawled, climbed and shuffled away.

Then managed to dress him again then wondered what the knock on the door might be at this early time! Oh it's 10."

But instead I mumbled something about it never being this messy and that I had been doing tidying all morning, I hate it being messy! It's never this messy? (LIE! Just incase you hadn't already spotted it.)

Why not say I'd struggled that morning? Why not admit it to one of the people that would understand and probably empathise with me? And why, when I know someone's coming over, do I ignore my kids for an hour and do a frantic cleaning spree? Seeing another person's house looking imperfect makes me feel normal! I'm not the only one! (phew!)

So here it is. My living room. Izzy was at nursery school, I was not planning a lesson, or cleaning a different room, or even playing with Ethan. I was laid on the sofa. :) And I enjoyed it! (Then took some photos and tidied it, cos really that's even too messy for me!)

Yes, that's all the toys out of the box, out of the tubs, clothes drying over the heaters (I WISH we had a tumble dryer) and if we sweep right...

All the DVDs within baby height out.

But look how much Ethan enjoyed himself...

And I think it's okay to admit that my son is nearly a year and is not 'sleeping through' and so I do still have to rest through the day to avoid becoming 'the hulk mother'.

So a few more confessions;

I sometimes use my own toothbrush to brush Izzy's then Ethan's teeth, simply becuause I can't be bothered to haul all the children (yes I am aware I only have two) downstairs again to come up.

Sometimes I leave the clothes in the washing machine so long I have to wash them again.

Some days I can't seem to find enough time to shower.

Some days Ethan goes without his two portions of fruit (unless petit filous counts?)

During the winter it can be a long time between shaving...but its all to do with keeping my legs warm.

One more thing, in the interests of 'keeping it real'. I was having a gate fitted the other day and the joiner asked to use the bathroom. So I showed him the way and saw as I opened the door poo streaks on the toilet seat! Argh! Do I ignore it to avoid embarrassment? Wipe it? Tell him it was my newly toilet trained daughter who is a little short for the seat still? (even though it makes it seem more like it was me then?)

I embarrassedly wiped it (not with my hand!) and blushed something about toilet training. And later realised it sounded like I was training myself. Oh.

Well there you have it, dishes from the night before, shelves emptied onto the floor while I watched and poo streaks on the toilet seat. No lies. Just being honest. (yeah I know too honest) But hopefully you like me won't feel as guilty about being imperfect.

So please share and don't make me feel like I'm the only one who does things like these. I love my children and they are happy, so what if my house isn't perfect. It's part of what makes it a home.


  1. Rhiannon,you make me laugh,yes when i was first married and had Ryan,we lived in a 2 bed terraced house very small,and my house was always messy,toys all over the place etc,and i always felt guilty if i had a lay down on the sofa while Ryan was taking a nap why??? I don't know....
    You are a great wife,mother,sister,daughter and a great friend,don't change you are doing fine,but anytime you want rescuing call mexxxx

  2. Sounds like a normal houshold to me ;)

  3. Great post Rhiannon - had me laughing out loud. I'll admit to the toothbrush scenario too, the washing machine one as well. Ben hates fruit so does it count if Joseph has 4 potions a day?? I do shower daily but it maybe days, literally days, between the boys having a bath! The toilet thing well I've definitely learnt to quickly dash and check before any visitor uses it!

  4. I love your honesty! I have a sign in my house saying ; We can't both look good... It's either ME or the House!! We sometimes have days like that in my house, laundry and toys everywhere, Joel running around in his stinky nappy as he refuses to let me change it sometimes(Can't wait for the summer when im going to p.train him!) My legs are only shaved once a week (on a sat eve or sunday morning!), I sometimes leave washing in the machine as I cant be bothered or havnt got 10 mins to hang it out so I, like u have washed one load twice!! Its all part of motherhood! They say that a womens work is never done and with having kids, it really is never done! I dont even tidy toys up till both boys are in bed as I know if I do, they will be out 5 mins later! Like you said, your kids are happy and thats all that counts. Who cares about a bit of poo on the toilet seat, or washing still in the machine. A messy home proves it is lived in and not just sat in!! Kate Hogg x

  5. looks like something from my journal, from a few years ago, dont worry we mothers have all been there whether we have 1,2 or 8 children doesnt change a thing . but as long as everyone is smiling what the heck!!! you are a great mum . it will change just enjoy them while theyre little!! :) x


  6. Thats why I come over!

  7. Girl...if you think you're the only messy one.I have 3 kids, all potty trained after all 2 are 10 and 12, and there's a huge pile of clothes in the hallway that you have to literally climb up on to go to the bathroom.

    I'm thinning out the house (still) and was just sick of piles and organizing/sorting as I went through stuff so when I heard my in-laws were coming over I chucked it all into a big pile and TOTALLY lied and said it all went to Goodwill and Ben hadn't had time to drop it off. Ironically that's where I ended up stacking the 6-7ft wide mound that you can look through the front window from the porch and see because it's smooshed against it.

    A few nights ago I was laying in bed and looked up and was skeezed out by the fact that a spider had rolled something up and had it stored dangling from the ceiling against the wall. When Ben came home(yeah, I wasn't touching it.) I had him get it down to flush. Guess what?! It wasn't a spider it was a COBWEB!!! We both decided we prefer the rolled spider dinner as we wouldn't feel like complete white trash.

    And, let me share the "SMELL"...after Thanksgiving there was a HUGE sell on organic potatoes for like .75cents a 5lb bag. I bought ALL THEY HAD-10 bags. Added them to the list so I don't forget what I have (I buy in bulk) but somehow a bag was used without marking it down. Said bag had fell off the back of the shelf. Apparently there are still gnats even in winter as we were finding gnats around the house. Decided to make a walk in pantry and jerked out the shelves and the cabinet. OH.mah.GAHSH! There was the missing potatoes, slid behind the cabinet(I have no idea how they got there) sprouted and died, gnats galore and yeah...

    So're fine. And, I have an incredible need to post pictures so you know you don't need a tetanus or rabies shot to walk in the house!


  8. Thanks for posting this. It's nice to see that ours isn't the only home that isn't 24/7 Pinterest-worthy! I know other's aren't as well, but you rarely get to actually see the truth! Anyway, we are messy and cluttered more often than not, but my son is so much happier being free to play than if I was always picking up everything all day long. And I often have to choose between everything in it's place or getting some sewing done that I know can't be completed in one nap time... everything in it's place never wins!

  9. I LOVE this post. This is exactly the kind of post I love to see, it's not about how perfect your kids and life are but shows the real side to mothering and takes the pressure off other moms to be the "perfect mommy". I think I found my new favorite blog!!