Mum Guilt

So today I felt guilty.

I felt guilty that I couldn't be bothered to put all the books back on the bookcase (yet again).

I felt bad that while Izzy was at nursery school that me and Ethan spent a lot of time eating popcorn and cookies on the sofa watching Cbeebies.

I felt guilty about the state of the kitchen because I didn't clean right after making...

playdough (for a birthday party coming up),

and brownies. (I know, popcorn, cookies and brownies. My mum guilt is literally getting worse by the second)

I especially felt guilty seeing Izzy's sunflowers that have yet to be planted (or watered enough) since she brought it home two weeks ago. Though I'm kinda digging the jaunty angle of the sunflower on the right...

But then I got to thinking.  

I wonder what Ethan thought of today. 

I imagined what I would see if I was his age.

I thought how he would get to snuggle for an hour (or two) on the sofa with his mum watching his favourite cartoons and eating his favourite food. 

Then how he got to play dinosaurs in his room while his mum was making silly noises and making the dinosaurs dance.

He probably didn't notice the pile of laundry his mum was eyeing guiltily.

Then he got to help his mum make a toastie for lunch. And probably wasn't bothered at all that when he pulled out his chair and there was some dried noodles from last nights dinner. He just swept them straight off onto the floor.

(This photo really makes me cringe!)

Then he probably felt pretty good about being able to fall asleep on the sofa for his nap time before he got carried up to bed while his mum read some blogs.

And I don't think he minded being cuddled and rocked when he woke up, and before going out in the pushchair, especially as he got to see some dogs and birds. 

I know he loved being able to have all his toys around him when he got back so that he could easily choose what to do while mummy and Izzy made Jack's playdough.

And I thought. 

I have it all wrong.

Ethan and Izzy had a good day. 

I thought I'd failed because the house needed cleaning and tidying. Because I hadn't crossed any of my "to dos" off and because I hadn't done anything educational with my kids. 

And don't even get me started with their nutritional intake.

But today wasn't a fail. My kids had a great day. 

They don't care about my list, or the housework.


I think too often we are too hard on ourselves. Harder than we would be on each other. Harder than we should be.


If another mum had come to me and said she felt guilty because of the day she'd had. And if it had been like mine I'd have been like "Dude! You baked and made play dough!" 


So you know what? I'm going to try not to be so hard on myself. I'm going to think what I did well at the end of the day, rather than listing all the things I didn't do or did wrong.


What about you? Why were you great today?