not another picture of my messy house!

Go on, have a look. You know you want to feel better about the state of your own kitchen.

This is after already sorting a big pile of washing and unloading the dishwasher.

Do you ever come downstairs on a morning and think; "Did  I even do anything yesterday?!"

Anyway the point of these horrific pictures? To show you how much I worked my butt off to turn this:

Into this:

And made this:

Of course it's a car garage cake! (cars, pump and creepy looking man courtesy of my very wonderful husband!)

In only a day! (and a half.) and it is clean behind too, I didn't just shove the clothes from the floor into the machine. And yes, I made the gorgeous little girl too, but that was a few years ago.

So it was my son's first birthday yesterday. It was wonderful and perfect. Both he and Izzy had a great time (Izzy mostly enjoyed herself because Ethan doesn't like to be the centre of attention and she does, plus he likes 'help' opening his presents).

But even though the day was perfect I couldn't help but feel a little sad at the loss of my 'baby'. Now he's one surely he doesn't need me as much?

(except to feed him birthday muffins and/or cake)

Don't get me wrong, I love the stage he's at now. He sleeps through the night, can and likes to give kisses, sings along to his bed time song, had a wonderful boisterous personality and is so sweet to Izzy. But since having Ethan I feel like all I've done is multi-task. Like if I'm cleaning the kitchen, and getting Izzy another snack, and getting my bag ready for the gym, that it is a nuisance when Ethan wants to be picked up and cuddled. And that if he plays nicely on the floor, I don't join him I just use the opportunity to hoover or tidy the other toys.

I realised today that I am never going to get these days back again. And that more important than a clean home, Ethan and Izzy will remember that they had fun and that their mum had time for them and they were valued and listened to. And that helped me today.

So when Ethan fell asleep on my shoulder when I carried him up to bed, I didn't rush downstairs for alone time or to clean. Instead I watched him so contented and peaceful for a while. And when he woke up I sat and played with him even though I kept twitching to tidy the laundry in our bedroom or put a tissue in the bin, I treasured the alone time with Ethan (Izzy was at nursery school).

And I was able to find the balance this afternoon better than I have for a long time. I spent two hours outside doing nothing but playing and maybe hanging some clothes, and yet I was able to clean the rest of the house quicker than I have in ages. The kids weren't demanding my attention because they were filled up with it already! :) So a few minutes while I was doing something boring didn't bother them.

Eureka! (Is that the appropriate use of the word? I'm not sure if I've ever used it before.)

So if you've read this far well done! Maybe you have already figured this out, but I am going to treasure my time with my children now. Not wish it away to the next 'stage'. One day they won't need me any more, but at least I will know I appreciated all the time I got to spend in the best job ever.

(mum incase you were wondering.)

Just one more photo of the birthday boy then!

This is the least blurry one, he was rocking like a mad man! :)